Worth It

I recently heard a story about Pablo Picasso. He was asked by a fan at a café to sketch a drawing on a napkin. He did and then asked her to pay him $10,000. Shocked and unwilling to pay, she retorted that the drawing had only taken him a few seconds. He replied, “No, my dear, it took me 30 years.”

Self-worth of this magnitude is impressive, possibly even valid. But it isn’t self-worth that is important to me in this story. It is that worth takes time, hard work, even failure. Worth isn’t arbitrary, it is earned. Worth doesn’t declare itself. It is given and taken based on a complex formula of needs, wants, and perceptions.

Of course, there are things in life that are monumentally undervalued and foolishly overvalued. Look at the wage divide between teachers and NFL players. Look at the price of an engagement ring and the price of a divorce…ironically similar, huh? And if you can pay for both in less than two years, perhaps they should both cost more. Even taking into account my own “values”, I’m almost ashamed to admit I spend more on alcohol than I do on groceries. Almost.

Clearly, there can be a binary between what something is worth and its value or cost. For example, friendship. In my opinion, friendship is one of the most valuable things a person can posses. But adults treat it cheaply, at least in my early-30’s world. This is one (possibly the only) place highschoolers have it right. Death is preferable to hurting a friend in highschool. Adults do it all the time.

Can you really not buy love? Yes, you can. The good stuff costs kindness, patience, flexibility, and love back. You can and you must invest. This shit is NOT free. I’ve also met my fair share of golddiggers in Texas who would argue to the grave that you can buy it. I’ve contemplated becoming one of these people but decided the karmic payback is just too terrifying.

Self-worth is another tricky one. After you determine what you’re worth, are you confident and proud when you reveal the price? Alternatively, are you red-line pricing things that should never be discounted? Picasso sure knew his worth. He knew because some valued him as much as he did. He also felt he had earned it.

Worth may not be arbitrary but it is definitely relative. It can stand alone, but alone it just might be. Worth that isn’t worthy usually gets forgotten anyway. I’m going to try to remember that the next time I have to determine worth or the next time I negotiate my own value. I’m going to try to make sure that worth = value which means it isn’t that complex of a formula after all.