Forgive my use of run-on sentences and harsh words but this topic has evoked such emotional backlash that punctuation and tact seem trivial.
Boys in DC suck.
When I say "suck," I mean they suck in the most callous and ignorant way possible. I know I speak for at least a significant percentage of the unfortunate women of the non-state when I say that these socially-inept cowards have ruined far beyond their share of nights out. They make promises they have no intentions of keeping; they get too drunk and act like criminals; they lie and cheat; they are intellectually and emotionally challenged by any sort of self-assured women they meet; they are lazy in the sack…they are worthless, at best. Most of them think that the only thing they need to impress women in DC is a bit of money, the ability to get into bars after hours, and a mediocre comment about politics over a dinner severely lacking in conversation. Sadly, they are unaware that I make plenty of my own money, have had better times with senior citizens, and have a vibrator that can do their job in a fraction of the time and with much better technique. Then, they wake up in their 30s, wondering why they are alone, with a gut and an STD. I mean, honestly?! I'm clearly better off alone.
I have given my fair share of chances to these imbeciles and, frankly, I have run out of motivation and patience. I don't need an alcoholic, unimaginative loser or a spoiled, bratty child to question my fabulousness.
So, piss off DC boys. Please don't speak to me again until you can act as old as your gray hair and your tired suits make you look.
(Disclaimer: There are a tiny handful of fabulous, grown-up men in DC and they are, of course, exempt from this rant. They know who they are.)
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