Get 'er done

Being from the Midwest, there are a number of phrases used regularly that I interpret correctly but don't really understand. These are usually muttered by old people but because they are so frequently used, they creep into everyone's mental dictionary and even sometimes slip out, when lack of a better description exists. Much like Velveeta, when in doubt, the familiar reigns supreme.

Take "I don't know anything else," a phrase that indicates that the person would like to end the conversation they are having with you. It is used universally in Nebraska, usually at the end of a phone call. Not having anything else to say or simply just having to go, sure. But confessing to being completely cerebrally vacant, that's funny (and actually quite descriptive when you think about it). I once pointed it out to my parents and now we giggle together when we get off the phone since they can't help but continue to use it.

Another is "could've cared less." (pronounced kudha) This one really does befuddle me because it denotes that you could have cared less but you didn't, meaning you did care. My guess is that Midwesterns just got their contractions mixed up or perhaps they just shortened it since couldn't've is tricky to say. Also, it isn't a word.  

My favorite is "being beside one's self." It makes absolutely no sense which is why I like it best. We all know it means to be especially excited or upset. Being fascinated by these sorts of colloquialisms, I like to come up with my own, more literal meanings. For this one, think of yourself standing next to another you. Look over at them. Then say, "Damn! That's what I'm talking about!" (Add a bit of an LL Cool J head nod and a single eyebrow to really "drive it home.")