Password Protected

Working at a software company requires a relentless, mind-numbing tangle of security passwords that change practically hourly. I’ve heard folks of a certain IQ have a system that helps them remember all their passwords and keep up with the constant requests to create new ones every month. I am not of that IQ level and therefore lack this life-saving methodology.

Starting in late 2009, after I’d been with my company one year and was tortured with a round of annually updated passwords, I created a system of my own. It in no way mediates my frustration with password masochism, but it does supplement my mental health.

I’ve started creating all my passwords with inspirational little phrases like “Itwillhappen,” “CalmandCollected,” and “Letlovein.” Not only do these meet the required length, they also provide hourly reminders that life isn’t as bad as my couple crabcake clients sometimes lead me to believe. Knowing that “it will happen” feels safe and motivating. I have no idea what I’d like to happen, but that one was my favorite. Every time I typed it I meditated a little thing that I hoped would happen, like making a wish. And, turns out, some of those things DID happen. Talk about taking the universe by the balls!

I still can’t remember anything, but I do start every workday with a hopeful little sigh. Every little bit helps, I suppose. If my techy co-workers knew what a fruitcake I am, I would be mortified. My next password update might need to be “PasswordwillNOTbesharedWithIT.”