Not so incredibly terrible and awful

The other day I ran into my ex. It has been almost a year and we have not spoken or seen each other.

I was dreading this collision in epic proportions. I anticipated choking on whatever had just been put in my mouth, making an ungraceful run for the nearest exit, start shooting doubles, and then call my mom in a drunken, teary panic at 1am. It didn't turn out like that at all.

First, I was out with another man who might believe I was sent to Earth directly from heaven. He is forever reminding me that I'm kinda awesome and deserve to be treated as such. May the universe shower this man with good fortune and happiness.

Also, I looked pretty because I had been on date earlier. I'm not sure how much good karma i cashed in to make this happen but it was so worth it.

I was able to walk right up, say hello politely, and then high-tail it outta there with minimal psychological/liver damage.

Strangely, and most importantly, I didn't experience the icky stomach flop expected the first time i unexpectedly see someone that i used to love very much. I felt a little shaken, but mostly I felt nothing. And feeling nothing without trying to is hard to do. Trust me. I've been trying to feel nothing about this boy for a long time now. Mission accomplished, evidently. What a relief?!

Saying "hello" and ultimately "goodbye" can actually feel kinda like a breath of fresh air; like a decompression of the weight that can sit on your chest as long as you allow it. And that doesn't feel at all like nothing. It feels good...damn good.

So Long Sweet Misery by Brett Dennen