Being from the Midwest, there are a number of phrases used regularly that I interpret correctly but don't really understand. These are usually muttered by old people but because they are so frequently used, they creep into everyone's mental dictionary and even sometimes slip out, when lack of a better description exists. Much like Velveeta, when in doubt, the familiar reigns supreme.
Take "I don't know anything else," a phrase that indicates that the person would like to end the conversation they are having with you. It is used universally in Nebraska, usually at the end of a phone call. Not having anything else to say or simply just having to go, sure. But confessing to being completely cerebrally vacant, that's funny (and actually quite descriptive when you think about it). I once pointed it out to my parents and now we giggle together when we get off the phone since they can't help but continue to use it.
Another is "could've cared less." (pronounced kudha) This one really does befuddle me because it denotes that you could have cared less but you didn't, meaning you did care. My guess is that Midwesterns just got their contractions mixed up or perhaps they just shortened it since couldn't've is tricky to say. Also, it isn't a word.
My favorite is "being beside one's self." It makes absolutely no sense which is why I like it best. We all know it means to be especially excited or upset. Being fascinated by these sorts of colloquialisms, I like to come up with my own, more literal meanings. For this one, think of yourself standing next to another you. Look over at them. Then say, "Damn! That's what I'm talking about!" (Add a bit of an LL Cool J head nod and a single eyebrow to really "drive it home.")
Friday, July 6, 2012
Friday, June 22, 2012
Is it a duck or a rabbit?
The issue of "perception" has been top of mind lately. Like so often, the universe has splintered my own ideas on the topic by dropping saws and axes on me. If it sounds painful, you may be right but such is life for an intelligent airhead.
Perception is, by definition, a bit amorphous. It is the state of being aware of something. That something can be anything and everything. It is just what is for an individual. Because reality simply cannot be objective, perception is reality. Since reality is inconsistent for everyone, it is easy to see how quickly differences in perception can occur and multiply. I'm nearly confusing myself about it as I write. Try smoking pot and thinking out it...you may start exhaling vowels.
I've known people who can only see or who only accept one reality, one perspective. Their perception is their reality, same as for everyone else. But, they lack the need/want/ability/concern to see, if not attempt to understand and even occasionally incorporate, another's perception. To not care what another person thinks or feels or experiences must be wildly liberating. I'm very jealous of these people even though I don't usually like them.
Unfortunately, I do care what people think and I want people to care about what I think. I also very much care how people experience me and I care that their perception of me, their reality, is positive. I'm not able to know someone has experienced me badly and brush it off because I don't care about their reality. It troubles me, even if I can't fix it. I also can't ignore that they have a reality outside my own. This can be problematic for me because seeing another perception of things is very difficult, especially if I flat out don't agree or don't like what I see. It is truly amazing how two individuals can experience the same thing so differently! Herein lies the tactile responses to differences in perception...curiosity, misunderstanding, confusion, even hate.
I can't help think of one of my favorite quotes by Maya Angelou:
People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel.
To me, this is the truest testament of perception. When the details fall away, all that is left is your own perception of reality.
When you're getting over a troubled relationship like I am, this sensation is visceral. I can't remember the exact words that were yelled or which door was slammed. But I can very much remember the sick, anxious, insecure feeling I had almost every morning. I remember feeling afraid and alone. I remember feeling bullied. It is one person's perception to be sure. But, it is mine and it is real.
I attended a conflict resolution seminar recently (I'm a consultant so I regularly play a diplomatic role with conflicted clients. I don't attend cheesy seminars regularly, I promise.). It recommended eliminating the inconsistencies of perception and instead focusing on intention which can be better defined. Asking what someone's intention is and then declaring your own does seem far more concrete. Good plan, especially the next time I run into one of those "isolated reality" folks.
Now, to come up with some intention to take my mind off reality...I'm thinking wine.
Perception is, by definition, a bit amorphous. It is the state of being aware of something. That something can be anything and everything. It is just what is for an individual. Because reality simply cannot be objective, perception is reality. Since reality is inconsistent for everyone, it is easy to see how quickly differences in perception can occur and multiply. I'm nearly confusing myself about it as I write. Try smoking pot and thinking out it...you may start exhaling vowels.
I've known people who can only see or who only accept one reality, one perspective. Their perception is their reality, same as for everyone else. But, they lack the need/want/ability/concern to see, if not attempt to understand and even occasionally incorporate, another's perception. To not care what another person thinks or feels or experiences must be wildly liberating. I'm very jealous of these people even though I don't usually like them.
Unfortunately, I do care what people think and I want people to care about what I think. I also very much care how people experience me and I care that their perception of me, their reality, is positive. I'm not able to know someone has experienced me badly and brush it off because I don't care about their reality. It troubles me, even if I can't fix it. I also can't ignore that they have a reality outside my own. This can be problematic for me because seeing another perception of things is very difficult, especially if I flat out don't agree or don't like what I see. It is truly amazing how two individuals can experience the same thing so differently! Herein lies the tactile responses to differences in perception...curiosity, misunderstanding, confusion, even hate.
I can't help think of one of my favorite quotes by Maya Angelou:
People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel.
To me, this is the truest testament of perception. When the details fall away, all that is left is your own perception of reality.
When you're getting over a troubled relationship like I am, this sensation is visceral. I can't remember the exact words that were yelled or which door was slammed. But I can very much remember the sick, anxious, insecure feeling I had almost every morning. I remember feeling afraid and alone. I remember feeling bullied. It is one person's perception to be sure. But, it is mine and it is real.
I attended a conflict resolution seminar recently (I'm a consultant so I regularly play a diplomatic role with conflicted clients. I don't attend cheesy seminars regularly, I promise.). It recommended eliminating the inconsistencies of perception and instead focusing on intention which can be better defined. Asking what someone's intention is and then declaring your own does seem far more concrete. Good plan, especially the next time I run into one of those "isolated reality" folks.
Now, to come up with some intention to take my mind off reality...I'm thinking wine.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you.
My dog and I don't coexist in the traditional sense. I'm not the parent and her the child. I don't own her. It is more symbiotic...when I need her she is there and when she needs me, there I am. And we pretty much always need each other. She is my Samwise Gamgee.
We have done it 3 times together in the last 8 years and she has proven to be exceptionally adaptable and helpful in a move. A pictorial memoir...
Deciding where our furniture should go
Unpacking (rats were in a high priority box)
Enjoying our new neighborhood, Zilker Park
Testing our new bed
Selecting paint colors at Home Depot
Posing for Martha Stewart in our newly decorated bedroom
Worn out from too many projects
I could not do this without her. Fact.
Deciding where our furniture should go
Unpacking (rats were in a high priority box)
Enjoying our new neighborhood, Zilker Park
Testing our new bed
Selecting paint colors at Home Depot
Posing for Martha Stewart in our newly decorated bedroom
Worn out from too many projects
I could not do this without her. Fact.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Lessons from Moving Day
I'm thrilled to be out of the glorified dorm they call Park Terrace and into my beautiful new condo. I've spent countless hours and lots of money trying to sleep soundly in the apartment I shared with my man and turns out, while the most expensive thing I've tried, all I needed was home-ownership. I haven't slept more soundly in over a year.
I expected Olive and I to sense emptiness. After all, we're back to living alone. Instead, it is the most calm and happy we've felt in a long time. The anxiety of our former roommate's unpredictable treatment is gone along with night after night of tears and yelling. There is absolutely nothing empty about quiet rain coming down while I unpack, rinsing away the hurt of the past year. I may never tire of it.
Living with a lover is trying. I don't think anyone can challenge that statement. People argue and lose patience, say things they don't mean and things they do. Love is made and love is challenged. Lessons are learned too, good and bad, proud and shameful. I've learned something each time I've done it and am better for it. I look forward to doing it again even, more cautiously of course.
This time around I learned about commitment. I committed to one year and in that time my will and tolerance were tested to their limits. But, I didn't give up until the very last hour, just before I had to turn my old keys over. And at that moment I realized that my commitment was meaningless. I learned that commitment doesn't get you all that far every time. In fact, sometimes it gets you nowhere. It isn't always the good thing it is made out to be. I will take that lesson to my next relationship...commit if committed to. Share if shared with. Understand if understood. Love if loved. And if not, walk the other way.
I heard a repetitive shout again and again this year that has now became a mantra: Move on. My commitment didn't let me do that very comfortably before now. Luckily, I'm a fast learner.
I expected Olive and I to sense emptiness. After all, we're back to living alone. Instead, it is the most calm and happy we've felt in a long time. The anxiety of our former roommate's unpredictable treatment is gone along with night after night of tears and yelling. There is absolutely nothing empty about quiet rain coming down while I unpack, rinsing away the hurt of the past year. I may never tire of it.
Living with a lover is trying. I don't think anyone can challenge that statement. People argue and lose patience, say things they don't mean and things they do. Love is made and love is challenged. Lessons are learned too, good and bad, proud and shameful. I've learned something each time I've done it and am better for it. I look forward to doing it again even, more cautiously of course.
This time around I learned about commitment. I committed to one year and in that time my will and tolerance were tested to their limits. But, I didn't give up until the very last hour, just before I had to turn my old keys over. And at that moment I realized that my commitment was meaningless. I learned that commitment doesn't get you all that far every time. In fact, sometimes it gets you nowhere. It isn't always the good thing it is made out to be. I will take that lesson to my next relationship...commit if committed to. Share if shared with. Understand if understood. Love if loved. And if not, walk the other way.
I heard a repetitive shout again and again this year that has now became a mantra: Move on. My commitment didn't let me do that very comfortably before now. Luckily, I'm a fast learner.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Girl, I didn't know you could get down like that
I bought my first home. Major decisions and change make me very insecure and emotional and this was no different. I didn't much feel like celebrating even though I should have. It is a major accomplishment, after all. I wanted to feel a level of glee in line with the price tag (like shopping at expensive boutiques in NYC) but mostly it just felt lonely; lonely because gaining a condo meant losing a roommate.
I had hoped my first place would be an adventure I would share with someone else. It didn't work out like I expected, like so many things in life. Going it alone feels amazingly satisfying but a bit terrifying as well. My plans to create a loving space for two people was whittled down to the usual me, myself, and Olive. Everyone keeps reminding me that this is great, one of the best things a person can do for themselves. But, let's be honest, cohabitation failed me and that sucks.
Two steps forward and one step back is still forward movement though. My new place is beautiful and right next door to Barton Springs, a string of awesome restaurants, and one of the best outdoor music festivals in the country. I can see the Austin skyline. The previous owners shared with me that they had zillions of awesome memories and that the place had made them very happy. Hopefully some of that will rub off on me. My living situation the past year has been traumatic and tearful. It will be nice to be in a peaceful, happy place again, even if that means braving Austin alone again at first.
Seth Godin, the guru of online usability and general master of being useful, had a quote the other day that hit me like a Texas driver*:
"Everything will be alright" is not the same as "everything will stay the same."
I have clung to this statement, barnacle like, for the last few weeks. Everything will be alright, just like always. People adapt, get over it, move on, and move forward. And everything is better for it every single time. Remember that, Rach, you silly girl.
Luckily, two steps forward and one step back is also how you two-step which is not a bad way at all of getting from A to B in life. Wish me luck!
*No one in Texas was taught to drive. No one. The basic principals of staying in the lines, using signals, and generally paying attention are not used in the Lonestar State. Learning to operate a vehicle is clearly not as important as learning to shoot guns and say "yes, ma'am", which most Texans do quite well. This does not put my mind at ease.
Hang On Little Tomato by Pink Martini
I had hoped my first place would be an adventure I would share with someone else. It didn't work out like I expected, like so many things in life. Going it alone feels amazingly satisfying but a bit terrifying as well. My plans to create a loving space for two people was whittled down to the usual me, myself, and Olive. Everyone keeps reminding me that this is great, one of the best things a person can do for themselves. But, let's be honest, cohabitation failed me and that sucks.
Two steps forward and one step back is still forward movement though. My new place is beautiful and right next door to Barton Springs, a string of awesome restaurants, and one of the best outdoor music festivals in the country. I can see the Austin skyline. The previous owners shared with me that they had zillions of awesome memories and that the place had made them very happy. Hopefully some of that will rub off on me. My living situation the past year has been traumatic and tearful. It will be nice to be in a peaceful, happy place again, even if that means braving Austin alone again at first.
Seth Godin, the guru of online usability and general master of being useful, had a quote the other day that hit me like a Texas driver*:
"Everything will be alright" is not the same as "everything will stay the same."
I have clung to this statement, barnacle like, for the last few weeks. Everything will be alright, just like always. People adapt, get over it, move on, and move forward. And everything is better for it every single time. Remember that, Rach, you silly girl.
Luckily, two steps forward and one step back is also how you two-step which is not a bad way at all of getting from A to B in life. Wish me luck!
*No one in Texas was taught to drive. No one. The basic principals of staying in the lines, using signals, and generally paying attention are not used in the Lonestar State. Learning to operate a vehicle is clearly not as important as learning to shoot guns and say "yes, ma'am", which most Texans do quite well. This does not put my mind at ease.
Hang On Little Tomato by Pink Martini
Monday, March 19, 2012
At cool shit doing cool shit
Another SXSW under my belt with no visible damage to report. The only casualty was my poor phone which got the newest release of the cracked screen app. Amazing music and even more amazing company made this week the best music festival yet! Some of the artists need a lesson in etiquette but overall it was fabulous. Noteworthy moments in no order of priority:
Watch Andrew and I at Kimbra...we were in the front row for this truly amazing acoustic set. I'm in a white dress and AK in shades just to the side of the green Spotify wooden sign. She did the whole thing with just her voice, a recorder, and an iPad. She was so scared, her fingers were trembling.
We had the misfortune of choosing to see fun. at 1100 Warehouse where technical difficulties held them up for ages and finally required them to "make it work" with no sound. However, the last song, especially the tiny bit at the end where their sound finally goes out completely, was a remarkable comeback and ended up being one of the most fun and memorable shows of the week. I can't wait to see them with speakers.
When AK and JDLV led me through a broken down tool shed wedged between two buildings not even close to making it out of a code violation , I was skeptical. But, on the other side of the wooden plank door was a crazed DJ laser show that nearly put Skrillex to shame. When we realized the door we had just come through had gone missing, we knew this was a moment not of this Earth that could only happen at SXSW.
Here's the lineup:
March 10 Sat
DJ Throwdown at Mohawk
The Tontons at Stubb's
UME at Stubb's
Respect the DJ party at Empire Automotive (Best Trip to Narnia)
March 12 Mon
Lithium Party (Best Photos with Friends and Monsters)
March 13 Tues
Nneka at Clive (Best Concert Poster)
Some crap show at Belmont
Tango Alpha Tango at Whiskey Ink
Electric Touch at Buffalo Billiards
The Soldier Thread at Buffalo Billiards
March 14 Wed
Alice Smith at Fader Fort (Most anticipated, Least rewarded)
Gary Clark Jr. at Fader Fort
Tribes at 1100 Warehouse
fun. at 1100 Warehouse (Best Rebound)
Twin Atlantic at 1100 Warehouse
Neon Trees at 1100 Warehouse
Danny Brown at some tiny bar near De La Vina's place
March 15 Thurs
Kimbra (acoustic) at Spotify House (Most Creative Acoustic)
The Shins at Auditorium Shores
Drop the Lime at Lustre Pearl
Yaught at Lustre Pearl (Runner Up - Best Performer)
Miike Snow at Lustre Pearl (Worst Show Overall)
March 16 Friday
Grimes at Google Play party
Kids These Days at South by San Jose
Alabama Shakes at South by San Jose (Best Music)
Hollywood Holt at 1100 Warehouse
The Cool Kids at 1100 Warehouse
EL-P at 1100 Warehouse
Das Racist at 1100 Warehouse
Spank Rock at 1100 Warehouse (Best Lyric Used as Mantra for the Rest of SXSW)
Skrillex at 1100 Warehouse
March 17 Sat
Mr. MFN Exquire at Fader Fort
Dive at Fader Fort
Kindness at Fader Fort
Darkside at Fader Fort
Rittz at Fader Fort (Most Unexpectedly Awesome - http://www.thefader.com/2011/03/09/rittz-white-jesus-mixtape-mp3/)
Sleigh Bells at ACL Live Moody Theater (Best Performer)
Nas at ACL Live Moody Theater (Best Stage)
March 18 Sun
98 Episodes of Friday Night Lights, Maudies take out, and 5 gallons of water at home
Watch Andrew and I at Kimbra...we were in the front row for this truly amazing acoustic set. I'm in a white dress and AK in shades just to the side of the green Spotify wooden sign. She did the whole thing with just her voice, a recorder, and an iPad. She was so scared, her fingers were trembling.
We had the misfortune of choosing to see fun. at 1100 Warehouse where technical difficulties held them up for ages and finally required them to "make it work" with no sound. However, the last song, especially the tiny bit at the end where their sound finally goes out completely, was a remarkable comeback and ended up being one of the most fun and memorable shows of the week. I can't wait to see them with speakers.
When AK and JDLV led me through a broken down tool shed wedged between two buildings not even close to making it out of a code violation , I was skeptical. But, on the other side of the wooden plank door was a crazed DJ laser show that nearly put Skrillex to shame. When we realized the door we had just come through had gone missing, we knew this was a moment not of this Earth that could only happen at SXSW.
Here's the lineup:
March 10 Sat
DJ Throwdown at Mohawk
The Tontons at Stubb's
UME at Stubb's
Respect the DJ party at Empire Automotive (Best Trip to Narnia)
March 12 Mon
Lithium Party (Best Photos with Friends and Monsters)
March 13 Tues
Nneka at Clive (Best Concert Poster)
Some crap show at Belmont
Tango Alpha Tango at Whiskey Ink
Electric Touch at Buffalo Billiards
The Soldier Thread at Buffalo Billiards
March 14 Wed
Alice Smith at Fader Fort (Most anticipated, Least rewarded)
Gary Clark Jr. at Fader Fort
Tribes at 1100 Warehouse
fun. at 1100 Warehouse (Best Rebound)
Twin Atlantic at 1100 Warehouse
Neon Trees at 1100 Warehouse
Danny Brown at some tiny bar near De La Vina's place
March 15 Thurs
Kimbra (acoustic) at Spotify House (Most Creative Acoustic)
The Shins at Auditorium Shores
Drop the Lime at Lustre Pearl
Yaught at Lustre Pearl (Runner Up - Best Performer)
Miike Snow at Lustre Pearl (Worst Show Overall)
March 16 Friday
Grimes at Google Play party
Kids These Days at South by San Jose
Alabama Shakes at South by San Jose (Best Music)
Hollywood Holt at 1100 Warehouse
The Cool Kids at 1100 Warehouse
EL-P at 1100 Warehouse
Das Racist at 1100 Warehouse
Spank Rock at 1100 Warehouse (Best Lyric Used as Mantra for the Rest of SXSW)
Skrillex at 1100 Warehouse
March 17 Sat
Mr. MFN Exquire at Fader Fort
Dive at Fader Fort
Kindness at Fader Fort
Darkside at Fader Fort
Rittz at Fader Fort (Most Unexpectedly Awesome - http://www.thefader.com/2011/03/09/rittz-white-jesus-mixtape-mp3/)
Sleigh Bells at ACL Live Moody Theater (Best Performer)
Nas at ACL Live Moody Theater (Best Stage)
March 18 Sun
98 Episodes of Friday Night Lights, Maudies take out, and 5 gallons of water at home
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Warren Buffet can thank me later
I checked my Mint.com account recently and was playing around with their comparison budget tools. Pretty nifty until I got to the part where it compared 2010's spending habits to 2011's. The differences are striking, especially in the music category.
Pre-Austin, it appears I spent around $100 annually on concert tickets (a few shows at best). In 2011, that number increased 10 fold without even factoring in all the tickets bought for me by others which were substantial. Add in all the money spent on booze and the occasional t-shirt and you're looking at a degenerate music junkie who would sell plasma to see shows should I ever loose my job. If it weren't so much fun, I'd be alarmed.
I don't think of this as money wasted or even spent, however. I consider it an investment. According to Wikipedia, an investment is putting money into something with the expectation of gain, even the security of a return. This precisely defines what I do when I buy concert tickets. Music is an investment in life, happiness, relationships, musical prowess, boredom alleviation, intellectual complexity, and so many more things.
Sure, sometimes you invest and you don't see a return (such as the Modest Mouse show at Stubbs). But, sometimes your ROI is stupendous. The net gain from shows like Edward Sharpe, Grace Potter, Awolnation, Bright Light Social Hour, Friendly Fires, Gaygns, Young the Giant, or Muse far surpasses the initial investment. I wouldn't take that money back for anything.
It isn't just what music is worth in comparison to other investments we make. It is the whole host of intangibles you get for investing in that way. It has never let me down unlike most of my other monetary investments. I have no intention to decrease the amount put towards these most valuable expenditures.
Wikipedia also says that putting money towards something without the the security of return is considered gambling, an activity I do not care for generally. That being said, I have tickets to every major concert happening in Austin from now until late May and many of these bands are not my favorites. I'll label those for now as speculation though. I've found that with music you have to spend to "make."
Pre-Austin, it appears I spent around $100 annually on concert tickets (a few shows at best). In 2011, that number increased 10 fold without even factoring in all the tickets bought for me by others which were substantial. Add in all the money spent on booze and the occasional t-shirt and you're looking at a degenerate music junkie who would sell plasma to see shows should I ever loose my job. If it weren't so much fun, I'd be alarmed.
I don't think of this as money wasted or even spent, however. I consider it an investment. According to Wikipedia, an investment is putting money into something with the expectation of gain, even the security of a return. This precisely defines what I do when I buy concert tickets. Music is an investment in life, happiness, relationships, musical prowess, boredom alleviation, intellectual complexity, and so many more things.
Sure, sometimes you invest and you don't see a return (such as the Modest Mouse show at Stubbs). But, sometimes your ROI is stupendous. The net gain from shows like Edward Sharpe, Grace Potter, Awolnation, Bright Light Social Hour, Friendly Fires, Gaygns, Young the Giant, or Muse far surpasses the initial investment. I wouldn't take that money back for anything.
It isn't just what music is worth in comparison to other investments we make. It is the whole host of intangibles you get for investing in that way. It has never let me down unlike most of my other monetary investments. I have no intention to decrease the amount put towards these most valuable expenditures.
Wikipedia also says that putting money towards something without the the security of return is considered gambling, an activity I do not care for generally. That being said, I have tickets to every major concert happening in Austin from now until late May and many of these bands are not my favorites. I'll label those for now as speculation though. I've found that with music you have to spend to "make."
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