Like so many of my favorite things all year, my Mom's birthday is in October and she asked for a song dedication. I couldn't think of a more lovely thing to wish for but it did catch me off guard.
I've been busy this year and haven't been writing much. Blog posts are very spontaneous for me and are usually written in just a few minutes when inspiration hits. Typically, a request like this wouldn't be possible on the fly. Luckily, there is not another person in the world that is more inspirational than that woman.
We do this without trying. All the time.
My awe is visceral. She's amazing as a mom, to be sure. We also appear to share the same brain. We regularly say/do/buy/point at the same things with near spooky similarity and timing. It is such a blessing to have a thoughtful, personally-invested, like-minded sounding board that I can speak to with utmost honesty. She is the best best friend a person could have.
She effortlessly charms everyone who she comes across. I see it when she visits me in Texas. She is a fan favorite with all my friends and everyone, even some strangers, look forward to her visits. When I go home to Nebraska it is clear that no one has more fun. My friends from former homes continue to stay in touch with her. She's a wild one, without question.
And she's hot. I mean, really. Like gorgeous. Like MILF to nearly every person I know, young and old. The magnetism of this person is incredible. We are all helpless against it. And, it isn't just her physical beauty that makes her irresistible to all. She has a way. A vibe. An aura. If you know her, you know it.
Happy birthday Mom! A little thrown together and not very eloquent, but so, so true. I hope you like your birthday song!
What’s the best way to survive Austin City Limits Music Festival? Everyone has a recommended list of groceries to haul around, a survival kit of sorts. It always contains a sampling from the shelves of CVS spanning all manners of hygiene, first aide, feminine products, and skin care. I agree with all these lists, though aside from baby wipes you probably won't use any of it.
Here’s the truth of the matter: ACL, like life, depends more on what you do than what you bring. You will require a plan. Let’s begin.
First, assemble your team. You're going to need good people, the kind you can trust with your cash, your liquor stash, and your ride home. These folks must be musically coherent, obviously, but more importantly must have impeccable resilience, stamina, and good sense. You don't want to end up babysitting a weeping drunk or sitting outside the EMT tent twiddling your thumbs. Sharing memories with your BFFs is lovely, however, ain't nobody got time for divas, jerks, or wimps. Select only those you know you’ll still like on Monday morning.
Next up, logistics. Determine a meeting place outside the festival grounds (at least 1/4 mile or more). Use the time walking to Zilker Park to compare schedules, hydrate (intoxicate), and get to know each other. As the festival engulfs you in a loving embrace, you may find this is the last time you are able to meaningfully connect with these folks all day so use your walk wisely.
Also determine where to meet after the festival. I suggest the same place you left off to keep everything straight amid the dizzying mixture of THC, alcohol, people, and darkness. Make sure out-of-towners write down the address on paper. Your phone will be long dead by then so you'll have to rely on others, possibly even law enforcement, to find your way so be prepared.
We're getting close now. I can almost feel it. Eat something substantial before heading out into the bright, hot, musical sunshine; this is not the time to jump on the kale bandwagon. Slather on that SPF and chug a coconut water. If you have a living will, make sure your mom knows where it is.
Ducks in a row? Ok. Grab a map and off you go! It is nice (and safer) to have a comrade but there is no need to cling to the same ship all day. You're no barnacle. You're an insatiable, fearless music pirate out to claim your booty while swilling the whiskey you snuck in. Let music be your compass.
Devour your 3 days like you did the latest season of Orange is the New Black, entirely and unabashedly. Put your palms up and let the vibrations fuel you if you feel tired. Don't treat your fellow music devotees with disrespect. Stand awestruck at the talent that exists. Blow a kiss to the skyline of our pretty city. Make new friends. Follow your plan loosely...you never know what luck you may have or magic you may uncover.
At the end, however near death, if you feel euphoric, exhausted, and ready to buy your early-bird ticket for next year, you did it right. It isn’t what you had. It isn’t what you forgot or lost. It was what you did that made it good. And, much like in life, it was what you did that you’ll remember.
Enjoying SXSW is sort of like moving to a new city. I moved here almost 3 years ago and it has truly taken this long to get the hang of things and feel comfortable. The same principles apply to one of the biggest, most rowdy, most complicated music festivals and conferences in the world.
At first, you hang out with the wrong crowd, the first group that will have you, because you're too scared to brave the crowded, filthy streets of Austin by yourself. You make mistakes like inappropriate footwear, drinking too much, showing up too late to get in, and pledging blind allegiance to your boyfriend's favorite shitty band. Skinny jeans and garbage filled alleys are intimidating at first but then seem almost normal by the end. You learn a few street names and survival skills. You don't regret it but you're not convinced you had as much fun as everyone else claims to have had. Your head aches and you don't really like your friends as much as you thought (and definitely don't trust their taste in music).
Alt J at Stubbs
The next year you feel much more independent. You get your own wristband during pre-sale. Your research is your own, carefully curating a list of bands that you want to see. Convincing people to come with you is easier since they are beginning to trust your judgement and can't deny your commitment to music. You're on a text list and eek out an RSVP existence. You totally call one of the next up and coming bands and you get a high five from someone you really admire musically. Breaking away from the group to see your chosen playlist is nearly tolerable and you see way more bands than you did the year before because you're not hauling drama or naysayers along with you. Not quite part of a group yet, but bolder, braver, more equipped. Your head still aches but you feel happy you came and look forward to the year to come.
The third year you nail it. The perfect balance of toxins, water, and sleep deprivation is mastered. Your playlist is the perfect combo of worn-in must-sees and experimental must-trys. Your pack members are carefully chosen but expendable and scattered evenly across many venues. When an accomplice gives you trouble or has an opposing lineup, you shed them sans guilt like a free t-shirt. You run into people you know everywhere and the shared experience turns acquaintances into friends and friends into lovers. You learn that you'd give up toilet paper before you'd give up your bike. Your head still aches, but you accept it as a natural bi-product of a week's worth of smoke, chemicals, alcohol, loud music, and sheer exhaustion.
No, you don't just accept it...you embrace it with pride and congratulate yourself on being one of the survivors. Three years in and I've finally got both quantity and quality and easily the best SXSW memories to date.
Sunday, March 10
Ume
Cloud Nothings Portugal. The Man
Azari & III
Zeale
Tuesday, March 12
Elle King ZZ Ward
Divine Fits
Cirque du Soleil
Whoever was at Lucky Lounge
Wednesday, March 13
Cafe Tacvba
Yeah Yeah Yeahs Alt J
Thursday, March 14 Capital Cities
The Sheepdogs
Fitz and The Tantrums
City and Colour
Friday, March 15 Clairy Brown & the Bangin' Rackettes
Doldrums
Austra
Toro Y Moi
Alt J
Some cool jazz band at the Camel House
Walk Off the Earth Lissie
Savages
Youth Lagoon
Saturday, March 16
No
Some awesome gypsy violin band from Ireland Kids These Days
Field Report
Hacienda
Some other bands at Outlaw Roadshow??
Neon Lion
Drop City Yacht Club
Small Black Haim Vampire Weekend
In preparation for the upcoming SXSW orgy of toxins, filth, and sound, I've been doing a bit of thinking about those three components, attempting to understand their delicate necessity and devise of plan of surviving each of them. I'll start with sound.
The vibration of sound is ethereal and powerful, even if quiet and subtle. There are some sounds that can take your breath away or leave you panting with excitement. A baby's first cry, the whisper in your ear "I want you," a tornado passing overhead can give you chills. Some of the most deafening sounds I've heard are silence...when the fight is over, when the last guest leaves.
As everyone knows, I live for sound and have a carefully cataloged brainfile of sounds I treasure and those I wish I had never heard. We all do I assume, though how carefully filed seems to be personal preference and aptitude for self awareness.
Mine are usually filed by emotional response. The feeling I get seems more memorable than even the sound itself. To be mentally shoved by sound requires a reaction. But, to have a vault of sounds and how they have already made me feel has proven a very useful tool. I often know whether to ignore it, run from it, or soak it up.
This makes sense because sound, by scientific definition, is a disturbance. Disturbances are memorable. Disturbances can't easily be ignored. Disturbances change you, sometimes forever. Tom Robbins, one of my favorite authors, probably said it best:
Perhaps sound carries farther across time than across space.
Looking forward to a week of music and all the ways it will make me feel, I can't help but be excited and a little scared. Being 'disturbed' for that many days in a row requires a steadiness I often lack. But, at the very least, there may not be a more comforting sound than your name being called by the friend you couldn't find at a show. That is SXSW. And it is a most lovely disturbance.
I completed day one of this detox project with my wits still about me. I've received both positive and negative feedback but my favorite was a text message from a fellow booze connoisseur saying "I'm really disappointed in you." I'll abandon this healthy living bandwagon shortly, do not fear.
In the meantime, I've added some fun challenges to keep things interesting. Last night, I was invited to accompany some friends in a band (Horseshoes & Hand Grenades) to a show outside Austin. They were opening for The Damn Quails so the night had serious potential for fun and good tunes. I was reluctant to go at first though. I feel sleepy and hanging out with a bunch of rowdy male musicians for a solid 10 hours sounded a bit iffy.
But, I realized that detox isn't just of the body. If I am to really clean up this trailer I am going to need to make sure I'm not boring without the warm, snuggly cloak of inebriety. My only live musical experiences so far involved moderate to severe amounts of liquor and the occasional illegal drug, so much so that when I thought about it I realized that I rarely remember people I meet at shows and sometimes don't even remember the music very clearly. This is sad I've decided. So, I packed up my juice and met them for drinks before getting on the "tour bus."
To hang out with band members, one must be pretty independent. I don't know many of their friends yet and my phone died as soon as we got there. I was definitely on my own. At first I was shy. My inhibitions and insecurities were fully intact. I wondered if booze has really been a crutch for me and that I am as stupid and unoriginal as I believe some boozers to be. This prospect terrified me and I was determined to let the self I have come to know as "my"self enjoy the show and have fun with strangers without a drop of liquid courage, a shred of false bravado, or even another person to guide me.
Finally, I spotted someone with a Nebraska coozie so, much like the times I've found myself alone in cities around the globe, I put on a smile and perused the room making friends along the way. It was incredible. My mind was sharp allowing me to remember nearly everyone's name. I heard every note and remember which songs I have to download today. I stayed out until my usual 3am and slept until 11 but I feel great! Just food for thought...mostly since I'm not eating any other sort of food. Last night was a satisfying morsel.
ACL is Austin's best binge, in my opinion. This year was highly anticipated and didn't disappoint, though my toxin levels are severely in the red. It was particularly noteworthy because I now live in Zilker Park, about .25 mile from the festivities. My condo was turned into a rowdy, loud squatter camp for boozers, dancers, travelers from afar, and the hungry. It was brilliant!
Communication at the festival is notoriously a problem but it also adds a creative challenge to the mix that can be wildly fun to solve, should you be so inclined. When you're crammed into a downtown city park with 130 bands, 8 different
stages, and over 70,000 drunken, chemically-altered concert goers, you can forget
about using your cell phone or checking in on Facebook. This year we tried walkie talkies...not because they work better than T-Mobile or help you find your lost friends but because talking on them is hilarious and having one is your hand is cool as shit. Some rules of engagement:
Fab shades
Say "Roger that" after everything said into a walkie talkie. You can say "Roger that niner over and out cuuuuuusch" as well for added effect.
Come up with your own group language so that outsiders don't know what the hell you're talking about. Bonus points if truck drivers can decode your made up language.
Make friends with everyone else on your channel and respond to them with far out nonsense that makes them laugh.
Don't give both walkie talkies to one person.
Nom Nom Nom
Additional lessons include:
Don't pee during the month of October. This frees up lots of additional time in front of stages.
Make your own ACL Bingo game. Include things like a Texas flag tattoo, a baby in headphones, and someone not wearing pants. Here's mine.
Drunk people write the funniest stuff if you give them markers and large, washable pallets.
If there is any threat of rain, wear white. You will be given a free poncho by a handsome, kind boy and make lots of new friends.
Avoid the lines at the food trucks and have food delivered to your tarp by those in need of karmic re-up.
Rusty will find you. Even in a mosh pit. Even in the dark. He is a ninja.
Sneak in whiskey.
See Jack White.
Drown out the complaints of boring neighbors by turning the music up louder.
With the help of an epic band of gypsies, this was the best ACL (quite possibly the best music festival) yet! Next year, ACL is throwing my birthday party so expect more of the same. Music is fuel (and so is Rumchata)!!
Almost a year ago, I lost the friend that told me to never take Advil for a hangover, especially during the 72-hour ACL binge. To do so was "sending my liver into a gun fight with a knife." I lost a friend that, even though I knew him only briefly, was one of the most precious of my new Austin friends.
I still think about him every day without fail and wonder what things would have been like had he been around to offer direction. Things, I believe, would have been so very different.
After Travis died, I was never able to console my now ex-boyfriend, Travis' best friend, who was devastated by the loss. In turn, he offered me no comfort either. I was told I was a failure because I could not take the pain away. Bringing him back was the only solution, a task I was indeed quite incapable of performing.
A failure, however, I am not. I try, just like everyone, my hardest. I miss him, just like everyone...with an intensity that is unspeakable, with a sadness in which I dare not even indulge.
If I could have lessened the pain for my man, my friends, Travis' family, the state of Texas, the universe, believe me, I would have. But that isn't how these things work. We all take a piece of the pain and carry it whether we are strong enough for the extra load or not. That is the burden you accept when you love someone like we all loved Travis. Like all things we love, to have them taken is a risk we must be prepared for, a weight we must be ready to bare without warning.
And so I try to carry my grief with gratitude. I don't always do it gracefully. I don't always do it right. But I do it, always. Because like I said a year ago, there is no greater thanks for the sadness I feel because I'm one of the lucky ones that gets to miss him.
I miss you, my dear friend. ACL won't sound the same without you. I wish you could be there to sing along to Avett Brothers with me. But, I have my tarp ready and I've chosen Jack White instead of that old guy. I know you'll be listening.
Another SXSW under my belt with no visible damage to report. The only casualty was my poor phone which got the newest release of the cracked screen app. Amazing music and even more amazing company made this week the best music festival yet! Some of the artists need a lesson in etiquette but overall it was fabulous. Noteworthy moments in no order of priority:
Watch Andrew and I at Kimbra...we were in the front row for this truly amazing acoustic set. I'm in a white dress and AK in shades just to the side of the green Spotify wooden sign. She did the whole thing with just her voice, a recorder, and an iPad. She was so scared, her fingers were trembling.
We had the misfortune of choosing to see fun. at 1100 Warehouse where technical difficulties held them up for ages and finally required them to "make it work" with no sound. However, the last song, especially the tiny bit at the end where their sound finally goes out completely, was a remarkable comeback and ended up being one of the most fun and memorable shows of the week. I can't wait to see them with speakers.
When AK and JDLV led me through a broken down tool shed wedged between two buildings not even close to making it out of a code violation , I was skeptical. But, on the other side of the wooden plank door was a crazed DJ laser show that nearly put Skrillex to shame. When we realized the door we had just come through had gone missing, we knew this was a moment not of this Earth that could only happen at SXSW.
Here's the lineup:
March 10 Sat
DJ Throwdown at Mohawk
The Tontons at Stubb's
UME at Stubb's
Respect the DJ party at Empire Automotive (Best Trip to Narnia)
March 12 Mon
Lithium Party (Best Photos with Friends and Monsters)
March 13 Tues
Nneka at Clive (Best Concert Poster)
Some crap show at Belmont
Tango Alpha Tango at Whiskey Ink
Electric Touch at Buffalo Billiards
The Soldier Thread at Buffalo Billiards
March 14 Wed
Alice Smith at Fader Fort (Most anticipated, Least rewarded)
Gary Clark Jr. at Fader Fort
Tribes at 1100 Warehouse
fun. at 1100 Warehouse (Best Rebound)
Twin Atlantic at 1100 Warehouse
Neon Trees at 1100 Warehouse
Danny Brown at some tiny bar near De La Vina's place
March 15 Thurs
Kimbra (acoustic) at Spotify House (Most Creative Acoustic)
The Shins at Auditorium Shores
Drop the Lime at Lustre Pearl
Yaught at Lustre Pearl (Runner Up - Best Performer)
Miike Snow at Lustre Pearl (Worst Show Overall)
March 16 Friday
Grimes at Google Play party
Kids These Days at South by San Jose
Alabama Shakes at South by San Jose (Best Music)
Hollywood Holt at 1100 Warehouse
The Cool Kids at 1100 Warehouse
EL-P at 1100 Warehouse
Das Racist at 1100 Warehouse
Spank Rock at 1100 Warehouse (Best Lyric Used as Mantra for the Rest of SXSW)
Skrillex at 1100 Warehouse
March 17 Sat
Mr. MFN Exquire at Fader Fort
Dive at Fader Fort
Kindness at Fader Fort
Darkside at Fader Fort
Rittz at Fader Fort (Most Unexpectedly Awesome - http://www.thefader.com/2011/03/09/rittz-white-jesus-mixtape-mp3/)
Sleigh Bells at ACL Live Moody Theater (Best Performer)
Nas at ACL Live Moody Theater (Best Stage)
March 18 Sun
98 Episodes of Friday Night Lights, Maudies take out, and 5 gallons of water at home
I checked my Mint.com account recently and was playing around with their comparison budget tools. Pretty nifty until I got to the part where it compared 2010's spending habits to 2011's. The differences are striking, especially in the music category.
Pre-Austin, it appears I spent around $100 annually on concert tickets (a few shows at best). In 2011, that number increased 10 fold without even factoring in all the tickets bought for me by others which were substantial. Add in all the money spent on booze and the occasional t-shirt and you're looking at a degenerate music junkie who would sell plasma to see shows should I ever loose my job. If it weren't so much fun, I'd be alarmed.
I don't think of this as money wasted or even spent, however. I consider it an investment. According to Wikipedia, an investment is putting money into something with the expectation of gain, even the security of a return. This precisely defines what I do when I buy concert tickets. Music is an investment in life, happiness, relationships, musical prowess, boredom alleviation, intellectual complexity, and so many more things.
Sure, sometimes you invest and you don't see a return (such as the Modest Mouse show at Stubbs). But, sometimes your ROI is stupendous. The net gain from shows like Edward Sharpe, Grace Potter, Awolnation, Bright Light Social Hour, Friendly Fires, Gaygns, Young the Giant, or Muse far surpasses the initial investment. I wouldn't take that money back for anything.
It isn't just what music is worth in comparison to other investments we make. It is the whole host of intangibles you get for investing in that way. It has never let me down unlike most of my other monetary investments. I have no intention to decrease the amount put towards these most valuable expenditures.
Wikipedia also says that putting money towards something without the the security of return is considered gambling, an activity I do not care for generally. That being said, I have tickets to every major concert happening in Austin from now until late May and many of these bands are not my favorites. I'll label those for now as speculation though. I've found that with music you have to spend to "make."
It is not easy to win the affection of a boyfriend's friends. The approval rating usually ends up somewhere between tolerance and murderous spite. But, nothing is more valuable to a girl trying to land a man than a "gold star" from his best friend. That is why this week is so hard. I didn't just get a thumbs up from Travis Sampley. He was my biggest fan and the feeling was mutual.
Travis, AK, and I spent the last year on a whirlwind of rowdy adventures all over Texas. We were the 3 musketeers. We did everything together it seemed. All of my most fun and memorable moments since moving to Austin included him. We traveled in a pack, literally, walking home together (he lived just a few blocks away). Inseparable barely covers it.
He was my most enthusiastic kitchen guinea pig, gobbling down even the most inedibly tough steak and over-salted fish like he was eating first class at III Forks. He rarely even asked what I was making before agreeing to come over and he always brought my favorite Zinfandel.
My constant heckling for his taste in slow, emotive music didn't
Outside Sidebar hitting on chicks
deter him at all from turning off my tunes immediately upon arrival to plug in his iPhone. Every ride in my car started with, "Have you heard the new [insert band I've never heard of here]?" and a reach for the aux cord. He invited me to the most obscure concerts and taught me why vinyl sounds best. He introduced me to music far beyond my comfort zone and I ended up eating my words every time.
Most importantly, he liked me. Not just because he was obligated to. And, I liked him. Not just because I was obligated to. I looked forward to him like he was my own pack member and eventually that's what he became.
His sudden death makes me feel strange. I'm overwhelmed with sadness with spurts of disbelief. Sharing this grief with so many people is simultaneously comforting but also selfishly difficult. I'm watching my man's heart break and it is unimaginably painful. I don't think I'm alone in wishing that there could be just one more moment to say goodbye. In situations like this, I suppose it is natural. But, what would I say if I had that chance?
After Travis' birthday party at G&S
How do you put into words the solidarity of a friendship that strong? How would you let them know how much you appreciate the joy they bring to your life? Could you really express how much you'll miss them and how much you don't want them to go? I doubt it. Sometimes there are just no words. That is the blessing of death I guess. You can't and so you don't. You just feel it and know it and that has to be enough.
His absence will also be distinctly felt and known...at every party, at every bar, at every concert. His absence will just be distinct. Because someone like Travis doesn't go unnoticed.
I'm sending love and healing to his family and friends. We might have lost a rare one, but there isn't enough gratitude in the universe to match the thanks I have to have known him.
In honor of the 10th anniversary of the legendary Austin City Limits Music Festival (and because my lust for music is rapid and insatiable), I couldn't resist expressing some gratitude. Also, I can hardly sit still with all the excitement for my 3rd festival. Work is an irritating distraction.
My appetite for music is hereditary, given to me by equal parts crazy rockin' mama and dance floor karaoke extraordinaire pops. I cannot imagine a time in my life music wasn't playing. Even as an infant I was lulled to sleep by Aerosmith and George Straight. My new life in Austin has indulged my craving for tunes and I may be forever hooked on the unending, unspeakably amazing music that passes through this town.
I was talking to a friend and fellow music lover about those moments watching live music where one is simply stunned into blissful silence, unable to move, talk, or hear anything but the music. Afterward, that moment is permanently and vividly tattooed into memory. The song's meaning is forever changed and you cannot listen to it without being transported back. You're the same age, doing the same thing with the same people in an instant when you hear that song.
I was thrilled to know someone else had those moments and I was even more tickled that some of those moments AK and I had had together. Not necessarily together together. But, at the same time on our own at the same shows. These are private moments, you see. But it is wonderful to know that the person standing next to you at the concert had felt the same. I was almost getting choked up talking about it. I strongly recommend these brief jolts of harmony to everyone...if you haven't had one, you haven't lived.
Also, when I thought about it, a number of mine have indeed happened at the ACL Festival. I don't always even LOVE the song, but feeling was powerful. Here are some of my favorites (actual recordings from ACL):
Everybody Knows, John Legend, 2009 (This was worth not finding my friends again for the rest of the day.)
Paris, Grace Potter and the Nocturnals, 2010 (she had people in line at 11am wondering where the hell she had been their whole life)
Sweet Disposition, The Temper Trap, 2010 (this song drifted beautifully across the whole park...everyone stopped to listen even if you'd never heard the song before)
Home, Edward Sharpe, 2010 (i pretty much stood in stunned silence this whole show but this song was one of the best...tied with 40 Day Dream)
Uprising, Muse, 2010 (his guitar playing was ethereal)
And Phoenix. And Kings of Leon. And Andrew Bird. And Ryan Bingham, Bassnectar, Carolyn Wonderland... And that's only 2 year's worth.
I survived my first SXSW in Austin with relatively minimal brain damage and only minor bodily harm. Just so I remember for next year, here are some tips for having a kickass SXSW and making it out alive (even making it to work the following Monday).
1. Plan to brave it alone.
Like traveling abroad, I was having trouble finding someone who shared both my enthusiasm for the event and a similar or complementary list of bands to see. In a moment of diva independence, I bought the wristband anyway. Muttering "Hell with it. I'll go by my damn self," I vowed to let music, not another person, be my guide. I'm not popular in this town yet and I figured it would help me befriend some like-minded music lovers at the very least.
2. Find someone to see music with.
As the event neared and the town started to fill up with scary-looking, dirty-haired folks who were all far too thin and being compressed into black jeans that would put even Kate Moss into a bad mood, I decided it best not to brave it alone. So, I found some amazing characters last-minute with which to share tabs, parking permits, and mutual awe of the fine tunage. Their company elevated my fun to levels almost too much for words. I am so grateful to have shared the chaos with them and look forward to the stories we'll recollect. (Future conversations with these folks will probably start with something like "Remember when we collapsed in a beanbag pile outside Lustre Pearl and drank free beer? Yeah, I hope that idiot who unplugged your cellphone has bad sex for life.")
3. Footwear is vital.
I'm used to teetering around on platform strappy sandles. Luckily, I'm not a moron. I knew I'd be walking to and from my home (about 3 miles round trip) and back and forth from downtown to East Austin several times a day (5-10 miles). I only made one tragic footwear decision: flip flops. My feet were relentlessly gashed and stomped. I limped home in regret. I never regretted paying that much for custom cowboy boots though and I still don't. Thank you Lucchese.
4. Don't party too hard.
I actually passed a deceased person on E. 6th outside a bar. The police had given up trying to revive him but cops on motorcycles don't carry sheets to cover the dead I guess. I wondered as I walked by how long the young man laid there being tripped over before someone actually checked to see if he was breathing. It was a sad reminder that certain mixtures of booze, drugs, and music can be lethal.
5. Party your ass off.
I started each day with a few hours of work and a coffee. (Aren't I a big girl?!) Next up, toxins. I wasn't necessarily trying to get fucked up. There is just something about strolling around downtown Austin in 80 degree weather in March listening to a thunderous level of music with a little buzz. Dancing like a loon and enjoying music (the good and the bad) just doesn't feel the same without a healthy dose of poison. Also, by the end of each day, my feet were aching and my eyes were drooping. I didn't go to bed before 3am for one full week. Red Bull, you are kind and brilliant for sponsoring SXSW.
6. Go with your gut.
Sure, I could have gone to Kayne, or Perez Hilton's party, or Deer Tick on the last night of SXSW. But instead I went to AWOLNATION, which ended up being the all-time best, most fun show of the whole week. It isn't my usual style of music at all. I like to call it Marilyn Manson Lite. But, I had this strange compulsion to be there, just kinda knowing it would be amazing. This band, along with the others in the showcase, rocked my tired, weary world. I was laughing out loud with delight. If i didn't think that wearing cowboy boots while crowd surfing was unethical you can bet I would have flung myself into a sea of drunken hipsters and scrawny teenagers without question. Also, my beau and I had the most amazing time hanging out with rockstars after the show. Never question those feelings that something strange and magical will happen at SXSW...if you let it happen, it surely will.
2011 Shows Wednesday: Brett Dennen DeVotchKa Flogging Molly Random DJ next to The Hanger
Thursday: The Strokes T Bird and the Breaks
Friday: Dickies Party at Lustre Pearl Black Joe Lewis & the Honeybears Hayes Carll Ryan Bingham Robert Earl Keen Lucinda Williams Party at Malverde Party at ??? (long day)
Saturday: Filter Party at Cedar Door Courtyard Electric Touch Tres Mts. AWOLNATION Panic! At the Disco The Bravery
Last night was a lunar eclipse on the winter solstice. I hear this combination doesn't happen very often. I usually don't need much persuading to stay up all night drinking on a weekday so this excuse was particularly validating.
Because I have moved to paradise where 65 degrees on Dec 20 is only a little atypical, I sat outside on the sidewalk with Olive and some friends looking at the bright moon through the ancient tree branches at my apartment complex wearing flip flops and a smile. It was the perfect night for lunar gazing.
We made plans to move rooftop for some live musical eclipse accompaniment. The night had every potential for epic fabulocity. Naturally, as soon as we got there, the creepy warm temperatures blew in a foggy cloud cover from the lake that completely obscured even the outline of the moon. Even my will to cocktail suffered.
Luckily, my company was amazing (as usual) and a late-night Whataburger taquito resolved any disappointment. It was way cooler to lay in bed this morning and look at all the fab photos of the eclipse on my phone anyway.
Also, because I finally finished Awesome Wedding Mix 2010 (which, if i do say so myself, is so good I might even get some), I thought this favorite track was especially pertinent.
And now off to frozen Nebraska where I will most certainly stay "wrapped up like a child who has been in the rain too long" the entire time.
I'm so sorry for the nasty things i said about you the other day. I didn't mean it. I was just having a bad day. How about you come over later and let me make it up to you? We can have some nice wine, i'll get some Pierre Robert triple crème...we can make a night of it.
Also, to really demonstrate my unwaivering love, i've added a little of you back to the blog.
Not too long ago, I was listening to my usual collection of Pandora stations through the rose-colored headphones of a relationship. This week, after having my heart stomped on with boy cleats, all the songs sound differently. Just a few weeks ago cheesy love songs made me smile at my desk in the way only someone retarded in love can pull off. I now find myself skipping the sappy love songs, thumbs-upping the depressing, spiteful side of love music.
Only now can I even hear the lyrics warning me of playaz (Beyonce station), lyin’ cheatin’ hearts (George Straight station), and that boy in the front row (Toby Lightman station). Even Alice Smith’s Dream received an irritated eye roll and Mariah Carey’s Shake it Off suddenly makes sense. This is serious.
I clearly did not hear, let alone heed, the advice of a gazillion entertainers singing their poor hearts out about the red flags of letting yourself have feelings for another person. Clearly, I am hard of hearing.
On another note, Pandora seems to behave much like the weather this week: completely abnormal and crappy, grey, dismal, cold, depressing, and very, very unfair…all to match my situation, obviously. Thanks Universe, how clever!
If one more sad break-up song comes on Pandora, I may give up on music. Same goes for happy songs about people in love. No more! Isn’t there anything else to effing sing about?! Can’t someone make a song about how glamorous it is be single, gorgeous, and on the rebound? Or that feeling you get from slipping on the perfect pair of jeans…there’s a topic that is certainly as song-worthy as a sensual encounter with your man. Taking a walk around the city with a cup of coffee…another life experience on par with falling in or out of love. No one is singin’ about that, are they!?
Ok, Beyonce, let’s try just a bit more creativity if possible. That Halo song is making me gag.
Back to this impossible SEO document. As if this week didn’t suck enough already…
The other night I attempted to get dumped by inviting my beau to a folksy, estrogen-heavy performance by Toby Lightman. He usually reserves Monday nights for himself as a rule. He claims he is required by his laundry machine, though I believe he keeps his distance to avoid the inevitable CSI Miami episode. For this reason, it was particularly generous of him to drive me, in the rain, to Arlington and sit through equal parts acoustic man-bashing and sappy love ballads.
I was thrilled, giddy with her clever lyrics, thoughtful sentiment, and country/bluesy twang. He appeared to be ready to trade me in for a tattooed death metal drummer chick or throw himself from the nearest monument...i can't be sure which.
As in that weird movie Mating Habits of the Earth-Bound Human, i guess it is true that while dating it is not necessarily the activities we enjoy, but rather the company.
I did appreciate the company thoroughly. And for only a barbeque dinner in exchange, i think i made out like a bandit.
We joked that when the time comes for me to endure uncomfortable male activities, perhaps DC Meatfest or the National Beer Guzzling/Chest Beating Festival, he'll have an ace in the hole with which to convince me. In the meantime, I promise to only play the cd i bought last night solo so not to invoke any traumatic flashbacks.
My sister is getting married this Spring. It is all very exciting because her beau is rather charming and fits in well with the family descended from pirates. Sis asked me for some music recommendations. This was touching since we have very little in common and I had no idea she even knew about my lust for quality tunes. I was shocked she wanted my input on her most important of life events.
She said she wanted romantic, yet interesting…something more than the usual Shania Twain gag-inducers usually played at Nebraska weddings. I devoted myself wholeheartedly to the project, not only to supply this wedding some suitable slow dances, but also to impress my only female sibling (a difficult challenge, indeed).
I’ve been working on it for weeks, arguing with myself about just how cheesy I wanted Wedding Mix 2009 to be, adding and then removing tracks that in one hormonal level sounded sweet and the next sounded revoltingly insincere.
Below is a sampling.
Fresh Feeling by Eels My beau shared this one with me recently and it makes me smile every time I hear it. My personal favorite...
Make You Feel My Love by Adele Just so beautiful. I can imagine them dancing to this at the wedding (which will result in a Kleenex stock increase...there's your insider tip from someone who knows NOTHING about the stock market.)
Shameless by Garth Brooks This is a staple at Casa de Pirate and country-lovers will rejoice.
You Turn Me On by Ugly Americans Darn cute and heaps cheesy. I've loved this one since high school.
Dream by Alice Smith Simple, honest, passionate...just how love should feel.
And, of course, the usual classics: Method Man and MJB, Sade, Harry Connick, Jr. I need to burn the disk and ship it off to NE soon, but i'm still taking recommendations. I figured after the recent Valentine snog-fest, someone might have a love song to melt the hearts of my soon-to-be-inlaws. Am I missing anything?
I'm a pro at breakups. I have them all the time and have managed to get quite good at it like one might get good at chess or snowboarding. I got another practice last night.
There are lots of ways to deal with a breakup. You can wallow in self pity. You can start nasty STD rumors about the newly excised. You can run out and have a silly rebound. My strategy of choice is to negate the importance of the entire relationship. The beauty of this method is that as soon as you do it, it immediately becomes reality...a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts. (This can be either good or lousy, depending on how sentimental you are.)
I have a well-rehearsed speech beginning with "I never liked him that much anyway" and ending with a complaint i didn't feel compelled to speak aloud while we were together; sometimes easy to rationalize (i.e. "He was an alcoholic."), sometimes more a stretch (i.e. "His shoes were too white and he didn't even like edamame.") However near or far i need to reach, complaining always makes me feel that there is someone else out there without these lame qualities...someone fabulous who is man enough to adore my quircks and like me anyway.
I didn't date last night's heartbreak long enough to be broken up about it, thank goodness. But, he did lend me the book High Fidelity, which i'm now frantically trying to finish before i have to give it back.
Even though i'm only on page 26 (ironically, a metaphor for the relationship that just ended), I did have much fun thus far. So, in honor of Nick Hornby and because my one and only forever lasting love will undoubtedly be music, here are my all-time top 5 breakup songs:
1. How To Fight Loneliness by Wilco
Well said. You do just laugh at every joke and smile all the time. And, most importantly, it is very wise to know that the first thing that you want is the last thing you ever need. Self help book? Not necessary. Just listen to this song on repeat.
2. It Hurt So Bad by Susan Tedeschi
I love her voice because it reminds me of Janice Joplin. If you need to be cheered up after being dumped play this at high volume with a group of sympathetic friends and sing along using empty (or full) wine bottles as microphones.
3. Greatest Mistake by Handsome Boy Modeling School
Hip hop has fortunately evolved to talk of things other than the constant pain inflicted by the opposite sex. Leave it to Handsome Boy to come up with a song that is simultaneously sexy, sad, and cleverly written.
4. By Myself by Res
This song is dedicated to only one of my breakups, but if given enough thought, could probably be applicable to the others as well. I'm considering changing my theme song from 32 Flavors to this one.
5. Heavy Heart by You Am I
This is quite possibly the saddest, most pathetic song ever written. I can hardly even feel sorry for myself listening to it, so consumed am i by this poor man's wine stains. If there is ever a song more sad than this, please don't ever share it with me.
And so another one bites the dust. Because i protectively guard my own feelings and selectively bestow my affection and trust, i'm somehow perceived as being covered in poisonous blowfish spines underneath my clothes. What else is new? I'm dating only thick-skinned fisherman from now on. Spread the word.
I don't have a car so i'm hopelessly deficient in one of my favorite summer activities: road trips. I love them because you get to see cool stuff, hang out with one or more of your favorite people, and get into mischief in places where no one knows you.
I also love road trips because it involves my all time favorite thing: music.
NPR has been doing a series this summer on music to listen to on various types of vehicular adventures. Check it out here. I haven't loved all their recommendations, but I'm looking forward to their upcoming Hip Hop trip mix on August 19.
In the meantime, I'd like to (in a very AreSeven style) highlight a few songs i would bring on a road trip if i got to go on them.
1. Need Some More by The Brand New Heavies
Music is getting more and more uninspiring by the minute, especially most of the shit you hear on the radio. I like when a band acknowledges that some music sucks but that you can count on them to not suck. Also, I like the bit about music brightening up the dullest life. Indeed.
2. Fake is the New Real by Alice Smith
Can i get this on a t-shirt? She's brilliant and mega-talented, as usual.
3. King Without a Crown (Live at Stubbs) by Matisyahu
This very Jewish white dude can unexpectedly rock beatbox and reggae like i've never seen before. Meant to be a religious ballad, I like it better if I pretend he's talking about my future soul mate.
4. Me Voy by Julieta Venegas
A recommendation from my Nomadic Librarian, this song is the perfect sing-along song, even if you don't know Spanish. See the video if you want to love it more.
5. Music is My Hot, Hot Sex by CSS
Music really is my boyfriend...in fact the only one i've had in a while. He makes me infinitely happy and always has interesting things to say. He always wants to hang out with me and dance or just chill out. He always touches me in the right places. I think i'm in love.
6. Bananas Pancakes by Jack Johnson
To me, Jack Johnson sounds like warm weather and green grass and your arm around someone and the last bit of sun in a day...like easy happiness. Like tickling someone with a daisy. Like looking up into leafy tree branches. Ok, enough. But, it does make me happy and everyone in the car will no doubt like it.
7. Slow Dance by John Legend
I like this song because his voice resonates in the most lovely way. And because sometimes you just have to let the music soothe your soul and dance with your man.
8. I'm Yours by Jason Mraz
This song is so dang fun to sing along with, especially the part when he says, "Scootch on over closer dear and i'll nibble your ear." Sing on, brother!
9. Picture Me Rollin' by Tupac
Guess who's back? I only included this song because I had so much fun pretending to be a P.I.M.P. on a very rare invitation i recently had to Philly. There is just something about cruising down New York Ave. with the windows down acting way tougher than i really am (and have the other person in the car think it is cool too.)
10. Bohemian Like You by The Dandy Warhols
Just because it should be on every road trip play list.
P.S. Most of my friends know that i am a bit anxious in this wacko East Coast traffic (I've nearly bailed out of my seat on I-95 several times). But, i plan on getting a prescription of Valium so that I'll be a better passenger and, ulimately, get more invitations for car rides.
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